soulful

WANT - The self inflicted pain....

2008-03-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

I was watching this series today on discovery where a photographer took pictures of people who performed on the streets of mumbai....I grew up watching the rope walkers, the snake charmers, the guy with the monkey and the singers.....they were fascinating..the colours, the sounds....all that could make young and old alike to stop and take notice...in awe, in amusement..making them forget their problems for those few minutes as the lady beat the drum and the man walked across the rope with a balancing pole in his hand....
The photographer mentioned that he was capturing all these street artists on lens as they were fast disappearing with people seeking more lucrative opportunities ...what with the booming economy n all.... as sad as it sounds, it is one of those facts of life...he said...
In this series, he was taking a picture of a person who whipped himself .....and people in India actually believe that Goddess Durga relieves them of their diseases through this other human being who inflicted pain upon himself....I am unable to find pictures on the internet, but it was such a powerful series that it made want to cry and laugh at the same time....It was the artist's means of SURVIVAL...that self-inflicted pain earned him and his family his next meal....

What about me?I have a roof over my head...and I know where my next meal is going to come from....and a Husband who loves me in his own eccentric, quirky ways...:)...and I am sure that is the case with a lot of people...but all this does not leave us satisfied does it? We want a better life and keep looking for it right?At the end of the day, I think I am no different than the street artist .....I inflict pain on myself too by wanting more.....I think its human to want more....the only difference in my case being, its not to survive , but to LIVE life to the fullest and FULL is by self definition....guess this severe lack of satisfaction that is a necessary evil.....it makes us go for more, allows us to dream... but seldom gives us peace of mind....
thats how we differ from the street artists....he is SATISFIED..to survive....and not bother about real estate prices or rising standards of living....I am not too sure if that would work for me though... maybe not until I am above the material pleasures of life...and thats a long way to go...

So..until then..I shall indulge in dreaming about having a multi million dollar home in the Caribbean...a Ferrari to drive around and maybe throw in a private jet and an yacht too...:)....
Ta ta...

Not just a Song....

2008-03-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

Another piece of my life. A song that has got me through really tough times..."Anything but Ordinary"- By Avril Lavigne

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turibulent, succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please

Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
oh
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

- Avril Lavigne

Chronicles of Self Revelation.....

2008-03-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Yo...wassup...hope the world around you has not changed much and if it has..hope you remember what it was like....it is this very thought that has prompted to record the current 'ME'...so one year down the line, i can read up on this and gauge how I have grown and changed....
I have never really thought that some of the things included below can actually be termed as things that define me...but I guess they do....

I am: Angel (guess thats never gonna change (DUH!))
I work for : Citibank as Asst. Manager , Operations and Technology
I stay in: Singapore
Things I love to eat: As most people think, its not salads (that I eat coz I need to stay in shape). I love rice, Noodles (all carbs!) and vegetables. And give me the quintessential south indian 'Thair Saadam' (Curd Rice) and 'Oorugai' (Pickle) any day....yummmmm
My favourite colour: Red, Black.
My favorite actor/actress: Bollywood - Actor: Shahrukh Khan Actress: Kajol Hollywood: Actor: Tom Hanks (for his acting) and matthew mcconaughey(coz he is like super hot! and I love his acting in the movie 'A time to Kill') Actress: Charleze Theron
I love watching: Comedies that don't involve any thinking...nothing heavy...,..life is too complicated as it is...and its supposed to be ENTERTAINMENT DUUUHHH!..... Some War movies (The Great Raid, Behind Enemy Lines), Epic movies (300, Gladiator, Alexander) and of-course Chick-flicks.
My favourite passtime: Watching TV. I loooove sitcoms - Current favs include 'Less than Perfect', 'Yes Dear'. Reigning favorite - American Idol, it is just inspiring.Also love the Ellen Degeneres Show. Hate serials...dont have the patience to actually watch it every week, barring American Idol (Period).
My Best Friend: Kiran Puttagunta.He stays in the US and is looking for an eligible girl to get married to. We know each other for the last 8 years since engineering college.
I love to listen to: Rock and Metal. Favorites - Metallica, Niravana, Alanis Morisette, Megadeth, Avril Lavigne, Linkin Park, Pink Floyd, Iron Maiden, Pearl Jam, Aha, extremes, Radiohead..Long list. I HATE HIP HOP.
I am obsessed with:Staying in shape.If my weighing points to anything more than 54 kgs, I get paranoid and quit eating for the next 4 days. I currently weigh 56 kgs and am trying real hard to lose weight. but my favorite foods (as quoted above) cause a conflict of Interest.
I am a hardcore Feminist and would not bear to hear the 'there are some things that women cannot do' Jazz from any bloke.
I looove kids ..if they are in someone else's lap... With kids, I believe in the concept of 'Good from FAR and when near, FAR from good'. So I prefer looking at them and saying 'Shhhooo Shhhwweeet'. PERIOD.
I Like reading: FICTION. Dont like the heavy thick, Management Guru type books. THEY SUCK! Currently Reading: Freakonomics- Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt. This is a good book.
I thrive on: Competition. It is the one thing that can make me stretch that extra 200 miles and at the same time frustrate me to tears. I welcome it anyways.
I am slightly pessimistic in nature and always think of and imagine the worst things possible. Its my way of being prepared for it.I am working on changing this trait of mine and hopefully, when I read this blog next year, things would have changed for the better.
I love to travel but need to probed into it.
I have absolutely no sense of distance and Direction. I would be as lost with a map as i would be without one.
I cherish a dream of learning to play the guitar and have my own band in the next couple of years.

I once heard "Growing up in about about finding out that what you said 10 mins back is more stupid than what you said just now and just now would mose certainly be more stupid than 10 mins later... and this is coz you learn and grow with every passing minute". Bottomline, growing up is all about improvement.... So hope to have improved myself in a year from now....

Astala vista Baby....I'LL BE BACK!

Phuket....the land of sand, surf and lady boys......

2007-10-13T01:31:00.000-07:00

Hi,

How have you all been....in case you wonder why I always address my posts to people...I have faith... that someone reads this..:)...and what reinforces my faith is the comments you all leave on my blog..even if it is just one person....:) ..thanks...

Well, this is write something about the land of free spirit,....Phuket, Thailand...where prostitution is legal and lady boys (Men who decide they can't take having a penis anymore...and decide to get their breasts enhanced) who are treated with the same amount of respect as anyone else... and let me tell you..they are very very nice people.....Going to this place reminded me of the song by Sandy Thom....'I wish I was a punk Rocker'..great song...try to listen to it sometime...

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul And computers were still scary
and we didn't know everything

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair ....

I managed to do all the things I have only seen on Nat Geo and wished to do...rented a bike...wandered around the place with a map,...sunbathed, snorkeled..(and officially declared that I am scared of deep waters, life jacket or not)....spent a glorious afternoon at a spa....

but there was something that caught my eye wherever I went, the spirit of the people,....they laugh and live a normal life even though they are fully aware that danger lurks around the corner every second...I am referring to the Tsunami....We discovered a place that might have been resplendent with lights and life when it was 'alive'...now all that were left of it were ruins...Pic included above...it almost made me want to ask that little bright red shrine, what the place was like before it was hit by the wrath of the sea....but then i guess that the magic of the sea.....its an oxymoron in itself.....you love it and you hate it....

In all it was a great trip and I want to go back to Phuket again.....to drink in its sights and sounds once more and spend lazy afternoons near the sea...hearing it roar and come after me...

When pop-stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when God Saved the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
When my mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair ....

Do you mean to be mean or do you not mean it at all?

2007-08-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

Today's post is about all those millions of idiots (Read IDIOTS!) who go about saying numerous things that hurt other people and then cover up with ..."Oh! I did not mean it at all" or " arre wo to bolne waali baat hai"... I mean what the hell....

I liked this quote I read somewhere:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.Watch your words, for they become actions.Watch your actions, for they become habits.Watch your habits, for they become character.Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”....

So if someone says something and then adds " Oh I never meant what I said".. thats bull shit...he or she would only say what he or she would have thought of at that point in time...and if you are incapable of managing your thoughts... i.e. you cannot filter out the meaninigful and more sensible items to utter then how the hell do you expect to manage other people who are part of your team....

Managing your thoughts is not something a B-School education can impart to you....it is something that you as a teacher should have imparted to yourself as a student and if you have not managed to do that, then you are a bad teacher.

I seethe with anger as I think about these guys who are so impotent that they use a flimsy excuse like "I did not mean it" to try to get out of a situation. They dont have the guts to face the situation nor the intelligence to apologise. Then there comes the silent phase where they can't face the person they hurt and what I would term as pure cowardice, would be termed as these impotents as 'she- is- so- sensitive-that-she-takes-all-that-I-say-so-seriously'....Dude, maybe you need to realise that you are an important part of the other person's life and every little thing you say makes a difference in their life.

People who get stuck with such jerks as friends or any other relationship need to build a shield of immunity to their inane talk and try to live with it..with the thought firmly etched into their minds....these people are suffering from some need/insecurity in their life and they are trying to cover that up by saying things that may hurt you...so bear with them as you would bear with a lizard on your wall...its there...its harmless... but it gets on your nerves nevertheless.....

I would like to sign off by saying....actually nothing...because I dont want to say something and then say that I did not mean it...so ciao...

The magic of black and white.....

2007-08-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

Its i: 17 am here in singapura... and yes I have work tomorrow... and yet I am awake to write a blog....:).. well.... thats me.. something would not let me sleep tonight... its not just one thing... its a multitude of things.. its like thats feeling when you are on a water bed...it was fascinating first... then you got onto it... and now the watery bubble under you is making you queasy...

I used to write...Funny I used the phrase "Used to write"....:).. anyways... I used to write and a lot at that....and I used to call it my catharsis....the black ink and white paper used to be my best friends... the ink would pour my heart out and the paper would listen to me.... as I said these words were my best friends....but that was WWWAAAAYYYY back.... somewhere along the line... I kinda neglected these guys.... and I feel sorry....at 1:22 am on a Wednesday morning I feel sorry......VERY Sorry....
Guess the reason why I stopped writing was because..I grew up...I did not need a paper and a pen to rant about my emotions ... there were friends... and as I grew up there was not much to rant about....

They say teenagers think the world is all wrong and they are meant to change it... So thats where I was when I used to think I was on this earth with a mission to accomplish...A Big mission where I would lead the masses to enlightenment... an oracle of sorts....and that was when I wrote the most.....will publish some of my poetry soon... I dont know where the damn notebook is right now....but it is here.. that I am sure of...
I continued to write through the boring lectures of Power systems and Communication during Engineering.... and at home when I had nothing much to do.... and then I did my PG and life changed.....please recall from earlier quote "I grew up" .....feeble excuse for dumping my best friends (the pen and the paper...remember?).. anyways....I had so much to do... so much to accomplish... that emotions were soon a thing of the past and it was work, work and more work....

I was never too good at expressing my feelings verbally....and after giving up on writing ....I guess I gave up on myself......I stopped communicating... and had time and attention only for my IIT and my job-to-come after my MBA.....

Then came phase three in life....I met someone who I could talk to...actually talk to....anything...and something just uncorked...everything poured out... I was happy-happy....really happy....(my pen and paper still forgotten!)....and emotions were alive again...I could feel tears, smiles, anger, all in full frenzy...( the frenzy being the result of corking up for so long)......guess thats what love does to you.... It CHANGES you....whether you and the person you are in love with are well equipped to embrace that change or not.... decides a lot of things to come......

Today....at 1:34 am I realise that my pen and paper are still my best friends....I am sure they would embrace me with the same love and affection, the paper being my confidant and the pen being my words.....I am sad from the bottom of my heart that they lie forgotten at the bottom of a pile of forgotten things....I apologise to them profusely....an am going to make a serious attempt at renewing the relationship that I had sidetracked for the past few years,.........

ADIOS!

A guy, a girl and three weddings....

2007-07-18T01:58:00.000-07:00

Heloooo... well... news for you all.... I GOT MARRIED (picture included) ..incase you are wondering why my nose loks sooo red.....its coz in bengali weddings there is the important ritual of application of sindhoor on the wife's forehead,...the amount of Sindhoor on the wife's nose indicates how much the husband would love her after marriage... in that sense, I think my husband will LOVE me with a Capital L-O-V-E.... I moved to Singapore with my Husband after that......what do I hear? tinkle tinkle tinkle....sound of the many hearts broken... sorry guys.. this gem's taken..:)..

To introduce my husband... he is Dev...the guy I mentioned in my previous blog...my "best friend"... when I wrote that....little did I know I was going to get married to him in three months from the time I wrote that blog....:).. but then life is all about twists and turns that sometimes leave you spellbound coz of how much better or worse they leave you.....My life definitely turned for the better...:D.....

In case you are wondering why there are "Three weddings" in the title... thats coz I got married not once, twice but thrice...:))))....once in the south indian way (I am a palakkad Iyer), then the bong way(He is a bengali) and then in the court (that's for the GOI),....talk about ironies...till February 2007 I did not want to get married even once..... and by April 2007, I got married thrice... as I said... life has its twists and turns...:)

Everyone who meets me now asks me one question ..."How is life after marriage?"...Well...the only way I can reply to them is....a big smile on my face that its GREAT!!! coz thats what they want to hear,.... in reality... its just like being in a relationship...you go around with your boyfriend... and you marry him , so he becomes your husband..I dont see too much of a difference.....except now in various forms that I fill in, I need to write my name as Mrs. Angel Barat...:)... and its a nice feeling..

The above is more pertinant to just the two of us...but then...In India, when you get married, it is not just marriage between two people... but also between two families.... and in that sense you now have two sets of parents...and I am not kidding ...but I got the best in-laws in the whole world...(and trust me I am not trying to score any brownie points here)....they are really great....

Thats the newly-married-couple-with-stars-in-their-eyes scenario AFTER marriage..... I should have written this earlier when we were actually getting things readied for the wedding...... it was CARPE DIEM baby.....will write about it in my next blog...

I leave you with a thought....Marriage is like jello....its colorful, quriky and sweet... some may like the quirks and some may not.... I LOVE JELLOOO....:)))

Of love and Death

2007-01-07T10:04:00.000-08:00

Hello....long time once again.....been busy with work...attending office on Sundays also..life is a buzz, a whoooshhhh.....and i have spent 6 months in Citibank and been confirmed too with a good appraisal....this blog, besides giving a status update on mua...is dedicated to a friend who believes that the left part of his brain is dead and gone....he says he can never write creative stuff, or sing or be a perfect Bengali that he is supposed to be...the culturally savvy one.... Well, he has recently fallen in love and he is the happiest man on earth.....and knowing him,the girl who he is in love with is also the luckiest....good luck Paaziii!!!!

We were discussing his love life and then the death of a near and dear one who passed away during last new years.....May his soul rest in peace......
This got me thinking....If we were talking of love and death in one breath, then Love and Death must have something in common.....

1. Both are inevitable. You HAVE to fall in love and you HAVE to die one day.

2. They can be completely unexpected or totally planned. Think about love at first sight vs. wooing your sweetheart over an extended period of time. Also, think about a freak accident vs. suicide/ a well planned murder.

3. Both love and death, help you achieve Nirvana in more ways than one.........You fall in love, you wear rose colored glasses and the whole world is beautiful.No worries, no problems, only stars in your eyes. Similarly, you die and you have no worries, no problems...only peace...tranquility....(Ok...so what more do you expect after being dead!!!)

4. Love and death, help us understand what other people mean to us. You love someone and you are ready to die for them. Someone dies and then you realise how much you loved them.

5. Both love and death when thought of as emotions are EXTREMELY painful!!! (Wonder what death as an emotion would feel like....think about it!!)

6. Love can cause death. But can their be love after death??? (Ok, now I am slowly shifting from the thoughtful to the irritatingly questioning mode...)

Some artist has painted a macabre painting of when love embraces death. Caught this on the net. Something appealing about it. Sorry if it is a little sore on the eyes for some of you..I apologise.....

Anyways, Dev (my bengali friend)...I started off with dedicating this blog to you and your bengali lineage but went on to love and death and would like to end by saying....

Kurt Cobain is GOD!!!!!! (FYI, the NIRVANA discography is called LOVE & DEATH) Adios!!!

10 most important things one MUST learn in the Corporate world......

2006-09-24T00:16:00.000-07:00

Hellooo people....

Long time no see...well thats life at Citi for you... I work and work and work...and then I HAVE to party and party and party to get over the work.:)
Today, I intend to impart some gyaan to people ....I have learnt and have learnt the hard way.....4 months in the Corporate world and I feel like IIT Madras was heaven...Life rocked....but here....well...the less said the better....

Yesterday I was reading an article in ET which said something about "DEGLAMOURISING" jobs for today's youngsters because they seem to be smitten by the perceived glamour associated with jobs after an MBA. I think that is SO necessary. In fact companies like Genpact etc. have come up with a precursor to the actual Job scene in their respective companies. They take students on a 10 day "Boot Camp" exercise where they show them what the drudgery of routine work is all about. This, they feel would aid in reducing attrition rates also as people who would apply for the job would be the ones who are genuinely interested. I guess it makes sense too.....We, as management graduates enter the corporate world with stars in our eyes....but then the realities hit us and we decide to move on....last I heard, 80% of a batchof 400 odd people from a premier management institute have switched jobs in less than 3 months..... speaks volumes about how important money is to today's generation...These guys get paid good money...let me assure you of that....but then if the job aint good enough, they dont hesitate to bid adieu......Whoever said that this generation is mercenary by nature.....

Let me put forth my views as which I feel (arguably) are the 10 most important things for one to learn in the Corporate world!!!

10. Life in a corporate environment is Mars, while you lived blissfully in Mauritious while pursuing a graduate or a Post graduate degree. No water, no food......just HOPE that some day it would become earth and then we wont feel estranged any more.

9. Your immediate boss is mutating into a Martian, so he/she still has feelings. But the higher up you go you find Aliens whose immediate priority is to ensure that you understand and speak Martian at the earliest...and they delegate this job to your immediate boss.

8. Good work in the first few months is appreciated, but try not to exhude excellence because that is threatening...and entails a lot of peer and boss work being piled up on you.

7. The first TWO years in any organisation is the dirty work. You are a flunky to your Boss who is in turn a flunky to his and so on. And since you are at the bottom of the pyramid, dirt flows from the TOP into your lap. Its what they call the TOP-DOWN approach...:)

6. Appreciate everyone else's work all the time...that is provided if they do good work. This I tell you because, they will then appreciate your work more often and this goes for your boss too. Trust me, at work, appreciation is a major motivator.

5. Visibility is very important. Any new initiative or improvement from your side, make some noise about it.Let everyone know. This again should be after about 3 months in the organisation, because till then you are the baby...and from then on...people start wondering what you have been doing and if you are value for the money that they are paying you.

4. Network with peers and seniors as much as possible. These guys will move within and outside the organisation and knowing them will help you make a strategic move at a later point in time.

3. It is inevitable that you will mutate into a Martian soon and the next fresh B-school graduate who would be reporting to you would appear alien. But try to retain a sense of as -was and as-is. This will help you and him/her in fostering a relationship that would prove helpful in being a batter manager and getting things done.

2. There are times when a peer or a senior is giving you a tough time and you want to lash out at him. DONT even think about it. Alternatively, sit and have a chat with him/her and let him know your feelings, while asking him for advice. It will boost his ego that you are going to him for help and at the same time, he will be able to understand what you are going through.

1. Give it your best shot!!!!

I hope all that I have written makes sense and in case of any queries or issues with this post, please feel free to comment.

Until next time....ALL THE BEST!

When human beings are to be feared the most......

2006-07-11T07:22:00.000-07:00

Its 8:08 pm as per the clock in my comp. I am still at office. At 6:06 pm there was the first blast at Khar......Yes .....today is the day the blasts happened....seven in all.....Pooja (She works for me)....called up from Bandra station to give us the terrible news.....I did not take it too seriously at that time.....but as time passed and I caught some news on NDTV, it started getting on my nerves.....scary to watch people (actually limbs) being bundled up and carried in bags.......I felt nauseated and wanted to cry...but then I guess that would not have helped.......

Why do human beings act even worse than animals .....Even animals that hunt other animals for food only do so when they are hungry......The strike on Sunday....unnecessary burning of buses because some Politician's wife's statue was smeared with mud by some guy whose whereabouts are unknown..even today.....but, that was more than reason enough for the political party to burn buses (thankfully not people!).......and pelt stones at passers by.....

I fear ghosts (read my earlier entry)...but after seeing all this, I think I fear Human Beings more......Terrorists...they claim they fight for a cause.....but what cause can justify murdering one's own species....greed, freedom, envy...sometimes nothing at all.....I feel repulsed at the thought......Makes me want to do.....actually nothing all....pity huh?? Its the same with the whole world....

While I am at it...let me talk a little bit about how much I have begun detesting news channels....Nothing infuriated me more than the way the strike was sensationalised on tv.....My parents stay in Chennai....the only way they can get to know about the haps at Mumbai is through the news ...and showing the same bus that got burnt in the morning at 7 p.m. in the evening does NOT help....My mom was paranoid...as she is right now...worried about my safety...she is calling me every 15 minutes trying to find out if everything is ok......I am sure her fears have been magnified a couple of million times owing to the ghory sights shown in one of these shoddy news channels.....

I am not scared now...just disgusted....with myself and the perpetrators of these henious crimes..... Simply DISGUSTED.......

Life at Mumbai......mmmmmmm

2006-06-22T06:03:00.000-07:00

When I boarded the flight to Mumbai on 22nd May, I had fear and excitement....two very normal emotions that anybody would feel when starting a new venture. I call it a venture because I think I own what I am going to do and I am going to use my own ideas in due course of time to create new processes and improve the existant ones. Guess its a venture in some sense.....

Landed in Mumbai...fear less and excitement more.....It felt like home...Strange.....

We were made to stay at Taj Land's End...very close to 'Mannat', Shahrukh's house...Sheetal asked me to say hi to him for her.....Well...sorry babe...I was tooooo busy...he he.......Nice place ....lovely food ...at least for the first few days.....Then got kinda bored of it…..Too rich for my taste..;)

The next three days, I blissfully sat through session after session after session of what Citibank was all about …Blissfully, because at some level, I still love listening to lectures…Reminds me of IITM…I miss those days…Whole lot….On the fourth day after a ‘Working Lunch’, we left for Garudhmache…..What it was and where it was…NOONE knew…..We traveled for six hours through very winding roads…Almost had a near death experience (nearly collided into a truck coming in the opposite direction) and reached this place….As I stepped out, I could feel the freshness in the air…I took a deep breathe and took in the beauty of the surroundings…..(Pictures included)…..btw….’Garudmache’ means ‘Garud- Eagle’ and ‘Mache- summit’….fyi….We trekked, played games, rappelled …bonded and made lots of friends……Three of the most amazing days of my life….

Came back to Mumbai and shifted into my own place in Sion….Looking for a home in Mumbai is described as Gory, gruesome and tiring- to- an- extent- that- you- don’t -feel -any –part- of- your- body- anymore process…..My friend and I decided to go through it….and viola!!! We loved the third house shown to us and that is where I live now…so much for the tales of war (with the broker), bloodshed and heroism…We were just too adorable I guess…the landlord gave us a fully furnished apartment with everything we could dream of including a microwave and toaster…(Must-have’s)….I just remembered…I forgot the coffee maker…that goes down into my to-do list…..

I travel to office by Auto everyday…and what strikes me most about the ‘City of Dreams’ is its sheer speed. The action, the excitement, the movement…AMAZING!!! Makes even a couch potato like me get up and take notice. No wonder Mumbaikars can’t handle the thought of even visiting a different city, let alone settling there. ….I have settled in too with all the noise …and well on my way to becoming a Mumbaikar for more reasons than one…;)

This entry would be incomplete if I do not make a mention of two of my best friends here…..
Sonia is my flat mate…she is my mumma and saasu ma combined….mumma because, I never have to cook….its all ready by the time I wake up…in fact even packed sometimes….J…love you for that babe….but saasu ma interms of cleaning up….This is a typical ‘dialogue’ between Sonia and me every evening while washing utensils…

Sonia: Ye aise mat kar….
Angel: ??
Sonia: Isko aur ghiso
Angel: !!
Sonia: Arre tu chod…mein kar loongi….
Angel: Huh!!! Ok…..

… she is a total sweetheart……J

Next in line is Saurabh Oooooboweja (As Sonia calls him…I stick to “Ub”)…the cool dude from IIM Cal…Private Banker….They say cute things come in small packages and that is very very true in his case…..I like to think of him as an Atom Bomb….Small…but lethal….ha ha….We can laugh about everything and anything and NOTHING……

All the other guys have joined work too…..Abhijit in Henkel, Dada in Citi Kolkata….(I am sure he has his own adda by now!)…..Sheetal and Sid are in Mumbai for their ICICI Bank induction….Mayuri is in Genpact…..

That’s the haps as of now…I love my work and love my life here…
Until next time……

....'coz I am leaving on a Jet plane......

2006-05-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

I am back home....been here for the last few days.....eating sleeping and meeting long lost buddies who had been forgotten for the past two years....I feel good that I am in my elements once again...At least thats what Sumita says....( my best friend and senior from college...new entry into my blog world)...mommy's food ROCKS!!!...

Offer letter came the other day.....been posted in Mumbai.....mixed feelings....good place to work...but going away from mommy and daddy not that easy.....still a baby eh...?all set for another adventure......mommy's food ROCKS!!!!:(

Everyone has gone back home....Sheetal in Indore, Sid in Bokaro, Dada in Kol...no no wait...that guy is still here thanks to bike and an NOC associated with his bike...Mayuri has gone home too....Abhijit also.....MOmmyyyy...I am gonna miss college and friends.....:(

Flying to mumbai on 21st...Sunday...dada and Kris are with me......packing is going on in full swing here...did loads of shopping....went and met chitti and paati....damn...this is becoming a journal entry...

Now let me write about Orkut.....its a boon...have gotten in touch with so many people...some of them I had last met in 10th standard...and we share so many memories.....its just too cool.....and its the only way I hope to keep in touch with them in the future as well.....I am sure most of you who read through my blog do so because of orkut only.....a bow to the creators of orkut.....Bhagwaan aapko duniya ki saari Khushiyaan de.......

This is probably one of the crappiest entries that I have ever written...nevertheless...needed to vent feelings and I did!!!!

Adios, my alma mater

2006-05-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

loooooong time since i wrote.....Orkut is becoming an addiction.....:+$%#&&....but to be honest...I am completely overwhelmed by the fact that I actually have 155 friends...man thats a great feeling ......just gives you a reason to love urself a little bit more.....chicken soup for soul, brain, body everything.......

Well, Orkut is not exactly why I started writing this blog entry.......The purpose was to bid adieu to IIT Madras....these two years i can say beyond doubt have been the best and the worst days of my life....I have experienced such extreme emotions that it leaves me spellbound to think about them even now and realise that I could actually feel them.....have cried more than i may have cried the last 21 yrs. of my life...have laughed more than that too......have given my best shot to everything i did...studies, biz fest, having fun......

Managed to do all the things i had ever dreamt of......sang with my own band at a rock concert.....just for the record, I sang Limilight by rush, Pinball Wizard by The Who and You oughta know by Alanis Morissette!.....did some theatre.....made friends everywhere.....Organised events...big ones and small ones...worked in saarang...went to all the saarang shows...won loads of prizes and money....:)...more than anything...walked along these winding roads of IITM at 1 a.m. at night.....a dream that I have cherished and nurtured ever since I was a child......

I have been analysed by faculty in my department as someone who is smart, hardworking and surrendering when it comes to mistakes ...and that they say is my biggest strength ... SURRENDERING!!!!Noone has ever analysed me this way...I dont know if they are right or wrong but it makes me feel good that they actually have spent enough time to analyse and formulate such a precise opinion!

And here I am, about to finish thes two years and enter into the portals of the corporate world.....Someone told me two years back ...."....two years will be the gone like the blink of an eye and you will regret all the things that you did not do..."...first part i agree with...but the second....I don't think so.....I have had fun and loads of it at that...and I seriously believe now is the time to get serious and give something back to all those people who have given to me unconditionally all these years....My parents for instance.......

So as I leave IITM....I have no sad feelings...but I carry with me beautiful memories that will help me get by on days when I am really low and feel that everything is falling apart.....

Adieu!!!!!

The truth about fences!!

2006-03-21T00:03:00.000-08:00

We have been taught to belive that fences are barriers to entry.....but in reality, I think, they are instruments used to pique our curiosity and provoke us to enter.....

If the preview is this beautiful, wouldn't the actual show be breathtaking????

Why did Eve taste the apple?

Why did Pandora open the box?

hmmm.....the forbidden is always more inviting......!!!!

It's all about MONEY, Honey!

2006-03-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

Those crisp green 100 Re. bills crackle in my ears and I am ready to sell my soul! Money, the creater, the sustainer and the DESTROYER........As I was walking down the road the other day, I saw a young man very able looking, no handicaps at all.....standing at the side of the road and beg....I did not feel pity...anger instead...His limbs were better and more sinewy than mine....he was perfectly capable of performing simple tasks like delivering paper or milk or even selling peanuts on the roadside .....My blood boiled and I walked over to him and asked him why he begged..."It's all for the money, honey"....he said....I was shocked and explained all that he could do instead of stooping down to the level of begging....He smiled an arrogant smile and said...." I make Rs. 30 a day....enough to buy me three square meals....I have no-one to take care of...no rent to pay...People take pity on me and sometimes give me old clothes.....that fat man who just passed by and dropped 50p into my begging bowl did not so much as glance at my face......neither would he ever want to.....it made him feel good to give me the money...it made him feel generous....I am actually doing everyone a favour by letting them feel good about themselves...he earns by going to an office...I earn by sitting on the road......!"...It took me quiet a while to digest all that the beggar had said....my first few emotions were that of resentment....what impudence...what impertinence...Why did I even bother????...but then I guess what he said was true....very true....In the end ...it all boils down to money.....Relationships don't count....Love does not count.....and neither do emotions as in the case of me and the beggar.....I know I am sounding an old hag while writing all this and I seem to be painting a very grim picture...but i think this is the universal truth that stares us right in the face from the day we are born.....

When the child is a girl, the first and foremost thought of the parents is about the dowry that would have to be paid when the girl gets married........the worry lines on the forehead of a girl's father grow exponentially as the day of the 18th birthday looms large on the horizon.....And the quicker the wedding the better.....so they would at least have the time to pay back the monstrous sum of money borrowed from all possible sources....SEE??? it's a tarazoo...with money on one side and the girl on another......

If it's a boy...hmmm...now that's all together a different ball game.....I know a friend whose parents are spending oodles of money on his education with the hope that they can recover that and more through his bride...the more educated the groom, the more is his Net Asset Value in the Marriage market.....If it is a foren ka dulha....then his mother would be the queen of the ceremony...demanding heaven and earth.....and the bride's father left with just his undies to call his own after the wedding....But they think it's all worth it....there daughter is sent into a 'GOOD' home...what is hidden under this kashmere shawl is the ugly truth that what was demanded was an kashmere shawl instead of a small piece of linen that would have sufficed to tie the knot and take the 'saat phere' ......

What about friends??? One thing I firmly believe is that no matter which frat you belong to and no matter how close you are as frat brothers or sisters....keep money out of friendship because it tends to complicate things.....In fact keep money out of anything and everything...Money has it's own space and we should learn not to encroach that.....so don't try to show your love and affection for anyone in terms of money...'coz you will end up hurting the relationship and the entities in the relationship.....

Money should be respected and we should acknowledge the fact that it is more than just powerful...I know it's not the do all and end all...but I know for sure that it can prompt people to do things that can end EVERYTHING!

Death has no DIGNITY!!!!

2006-03-07T21:20:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered why death always picks on life? Don't tell me that its the way its meant to be...I will not buy that....What I am trying to say here is that....Death always goes after life who has no choice but to surrender to death in the end....If death really had some pluck he would pick a bone with someone his own size, someone who can fight back...I thought about this and concluded that DEATH HATH NO DIGNITY!!!

" Death is a coward"...I mentioned this to my friend and he looked at me incredulously and felt my forehead to check if it were hot....

"Have you flipped your lid" he asked...but i persisted....

" Think about it" I said....."I would be a coward, a bully , if I were to fight a 5 year old kid, because, the end result of such a fight would be known...I would win anyways...It won't be a fair fight"......."And Death fights such a fight everyday....."..." a fight where life would eventually lose"....

but my friend would not give up either...." If there were no death, we would not appreciate life"

Now wait..."where did that third entity called 'WE' come into the picture? the fight is between life and death....."

"Ok, Ok, let me rephrase......If there were no death, life would not be apreciated, just as good would not be appreciated if there were no evil"......

"aaaahhhh....my friend...there lies a difference between 'life and death' and 'good and evil'.....good need not bow down to evil always.....good has sufficient chance as evil to emerge victorious..."

My friend throws up his hands in despair...and he says " what's gotten into you today?"...and I have a story to tell him....

"I was sleeping in my room when there some commotion outside, and something brown and fluffy came fluttering into my room.......I saw to my delight that it was a tiny sparrow.....but the poor thing was terrified and flew to hide behind the TV......My mom came in and told me that the mother of the sparrow was teaching it to fly and was waiting outside (Since when did my mom understand sparrow lingo?)....well, I am supposed to be good with animals (and birds)....so i spoke to the little scared thing in a very soothing voice and got it out from behind the TV...its claws were buried into my skin and I figured it was only because it was in unknown territory......as i let it fly out through the balcony...my mom and I sighed with satisfaction to see the little one rejoin its family........and then SWOOOOOSH....and chaos, pandemonium.....A CROW HAD GOTTEN THE BABY SPARROW.......I was rooted to the spot for a few seconds...once I came around...we shouted, we threw stones.....but the crow flew away with the little guy and many crows followed suit...their lunch was arranged for.......I cried my heart out.....partly 'coz of the death of the sparrow and partly 'coz of guilt......I could have let it stay behind the TV......My mom said it was the balancing act of nature.....thats when this whole thought struck me.....Death vs. life...."

and then my friend said......"the reason why the crows went after the baby sparrow was life......"
"Life was trying to fight death....Eating would keep the crows alive.....It's a circle ....and a vicious one at that"

Partly defuzzed...but still kinda pissed off with death......I decided to write about it!!!!!

"How I met your mother"

2006-03-03T03:44:00.000-08:00

I chanced upon this sitcom the other day! I don't know about all the other guys who have TVs at home and who also have STBs (thus enjoying the previlage of being able to watch all the 100s of great channels), but for us poor IITians who have no access to TV (Even if we do, it is hardly ever possible to catch the good shows), this sitcom is...mmm...not very known!(WOW! that was a looong sentence(with all the brackets and all...)(ha ha!))

Now that F.R.I.E.N.D.S is off the air there are plenty of sitcoms vying for that top 10year 8:30 pm slot.....'JOEY' seems to be doing well there, and as far as I saw (Season-2), its a good show!!!
Now, coming back to the point... I have been watching 'Coupling' too...For those of you who don't know....it's a Brit Sitcom, has three guys and three girls who meet all the time at a pub and drink loads of beer(Now...where have we heard that before?yeah yeah....its the new Central (be)erk...:)).....but I don't enjoy it too much because it's a little too vulgar for my taste...

So as I was browsing through some stuff on my laptop, I chanced upon a few episodes of 'HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER'....first glance at the name, and I thought it had to be some kind of Porn movie (Ok! I am a pervert).....but then I saw that there was 'Season-1, Episode-01' written under the mpeg file and I understood it was a SIT COM!!! I am big fan of sitcoms and so i watched one episode and then another and then another and in sometime I had watched all fifteen episodes of season-1.....well...I seriously see some potential in this one.....has 5 poeple in it...the pic shows 'em all....some fabulous dialogues and acting...kinda feels like a cocktail of FRIENDS, JOEY and a little bit of originality! It's essentially about a guy who is telling his kids about how he met their mother and every episode is a story.....the best thing is the mother has not showed up yet...and I really don't know when she will...It does not matter...the whole thought of a really nice single guy meeting the love of his life keeps the audience hooked.....episode after episode after episode.....

And of-course the review has to be followed by some of my own emotional ranting....watching the sitcom and laughing, just makes me realise how lucky I am to have some great friends here .....we have fun, we have our own stories and some day when I get married, maybe I will be telling my kids about how I met their father .......I am sure all my friends would feature in these stories too!!!

We will be going our ways soon (in 2 months )...joining various organisations and moving on with life....it saddens me...but at the same time there is a gut feeling that we will look out for each other always...even when we are 50, we would still be joking about Dada's gazillion futile trials to find a BABE and how his SOULMATE found him...;)....joke about Sid being obsessed with money....me being obsessed with how FAT I am and so on.....

Bottom Line: Please do watch 'How I met your mother'...I am sure you will LOVE it!!!

P.S. If you are wondering why the last few posts have been centred around movies and sitcoms... I am mutating into a COUCH POTATO!!!!!

Adios......

Bollywood Inc.

2006-02-27T00:43:00.000-08:00

We were sitting at Nescafe sipping coffee the other day, and the art of Blogging was the topic of discussion. My good friend Ravi felt that it was necessary for the blog to be thought provoking....so Ravi Babu here goes.....

I watched 'Taxi no. 9211' yesterday in Satyam. Though I am not a big fan of Bollywood I managed to watch the movie owing to the following reasons:
1. It was a 1 hr. 45 mins. long movie
2. It had Nana Patekar in it (At some level, I aspire to be like him...sans the beard of course!)
3. The tickets were for free ( I won them by answering some quiz in ET)
4. It did not have 18 songs and a family wedding!

Well, I managed to watch it and at the end I was thinking that there was something very Hollywoodish about the movie....I also remembered what Shekhar Kapoor had once said about Bollywood..."Even the worst Hollywood movies are better than the best Bollywood Movies" ....this was the case maybe 3-4 yrs. back when 95 out of 100 Bollywood movies flopped...but today...I think the situtation has changed.....Durations are smaller...Not too many songs....cross over movies are in vogue....off beat movies are also being appreciated....So what prevents Bollywood movies from being truly global, I mean beyond singapore and other places where there is a plethora of Indians.....??

This got me thinking....what if Bollywood was run like a corporate entity?? It would have an MD, a CEO who would take care of the general affairs of the company....A Mktg, Finance and an HR team...An Operations team to take care of the Supply chain...such as the Distribution, Retailing etc....Things would be so much more organised....There would be MBAs who would specialise in Bollywood operations...there would be electives called 'Public Relations for Shahrukh Khan and the likes'...ha ha.....But who do you thnk would make the perfect CEO??....I vote for Mr.Bachan...he could take care of the PR too....There would more than just unions...there would be Associations where people could get together and chat up on the latest trends...these get-togethers would also give the papparazzi something to dwell upon...best of all...I think, it would elevate the movie making industry to new levels....It would probably be as respected as an HLL in FMCG, an Infosys in IT and a Reliance in....well everything.....

As I awoke from my reverie I realised that the movie was over ...time pass I would call it....just two hours of TIME PASS.....However, it did leave a warm feeling at the pit of my stomach....mmmm....I guess thats why people are drawn to movies, especially Bollywood ones....they take you away from reality and make you live in a separate world with Raghav Shastree and Jai Mittal.....laugh and cry with them, feel sorry for the taxi driver at the same time as you feel sorry for the spoilt son of a very rich man....

would it be worth making the whole thing such a serious affair.....?? I wonder.....

Time to get over my fear of ghosts!

2006-02-20T01:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I decided that this was it...I was going to do it! I was going to take the plunge....Before you guys get any ideas....I am referring horror and its many forms depicted in movies.

Well, let me brief you about life before yesterday....
I moved into sharavati and started having recurring dreams about a man asking for my help....I was never able to move from my bed when these dreams happened and i woke up in between....scary huh..it was almost as if i was glued to my bed.....

Then i slowly mutated into this paranoid being, constantly on the look out for a ghost outside my room door....stuck to my cieling and to all my close friends at IITM, my stories were a source of entertainment...I did not expect them to understand anyway.....(at some level I knew it was stupid, but then i just could not help it)...I felt that if i denied the existance of a ghost or a spirit, the spirit would be cross and come and haunt me......I used to sleep in Sheetal's room (remember Sheetal? if you don't know her go check out my earlier blogs)....She was nice enough to accomodate me and my paranoia....:)

Yesterday as i lay around thinking....I realised, I was going to have to live in a house probably all alone once i moved to mumbai for work...What would i do then....??Of-course I have been sleeping all alone for the past couple of months....but then I need to have the Joey Show running in my ears or else Abhijit talking to me over the phone till I sleep...(I don't let him sleep till i sleep)...But how long could i pull on like this????

And then DONG! the bell of realisation struck and I took a steely resolve to watch all the horror movies possible to immunise myself against the GHOST SYNDROME! Started with 'THE RING' yesterday....Not too bad...at least not as bad as portrayed by the guys (Probably they just glorified the whole thing to freak me out)...but in the wee hours of the morning, I had some trouble with erasing thoughts running through my head...still with sheetab's help and some amount of grit and resolve (actually, more of Sheetab's help :)), I managed to sleep through the whole thing....And boy am I proud of myself or what!!! I shall watch more such movies in the future as I think I have a thing pr two to prove to everyone...and to MYSELF! One thing has changed for good...I now perceive my Laptop as a friend that plays JOEY to help me go to sleep , instead of a portal for more ghosts to enter into my room......HA HA!

until next time.....

HOPE- the driving Force!

2006-02-13T01:22:00.001-08:00

As I was going for my evening walk the other day, gulping down bursts of fresh air ...drinking in the beauty of the surroundings here at IIT Madras....I notice several fa....no...(have to use a more appropriate word) ...not-so-thin people walking by....they smile at me ..a faint smile of recognition, or maybe a smile of ridicule(Coz I am not-so-fat) or a smile of "I GIVE-UP" ...I have been going for these walks for the past one and a half years and some of the faces are kinda familiar...the heavily built man, walking as if his clothes were on fire....The plump lady with her baby in the pram....(the baby invariably always has a grouchy look on its face...Why ME???...it wonders)...the old guys walking by rather strolling by talking about politics, and sometimes, even babes :) .....But there is one underlying theme...NONE OF THESE PEOPLE EVER SEEM TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!one and a half years of walking and they are as they were one and a half years back......

What gives them the stamina and the grit to keep going....What gives us all the spirit to keep going on despite failures....I am struck with wonder when I see people going on and on and on though their efforts have never borne fruits so far.....but then I guess the answer is TOO obvious ........It lies at the end of Pandora's box........

It was well for Pandora that she opened the box a second time, for the gods, with a sudden impulse of compassion, had concealed among the evil spirits one kindly creature, Hope, whose mission was to heal .......

"Hope sole remain'd within, nor took her flight, Beneath the vessel's verge conceal'd from light." Hesiod (Elton's tr.)

We all hope, at some point of time or the other .....for something or the other...The lonely heart hopes to find its soulmate, the student hope to pass, the beggar hopes to make enough money for two square meals....the not-so-thin people HOPE to become not-so-fat some day.....and it is something that we need to bear in mind always......AT THE BOTTOM OF PANDORA's BOX, THERE WAS HOPE........and there will always be HOPE that drives us all to do whtever we do!

I am off for my walk...until next time....ADIOS AMIGOS......

Look who's back....

2006-01-18T00:02:00.000-08:00

Look who's back.....
ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha .......thats me ....Ich bin sehr happy........why you ask? well...first of all I GOT PLACED.....where you ask....? guess...CITIBANK...the job of my dreams....I dreamt of the day i got placed all my life....
7: 16 pm....I sit in the room of doom ..awaiting results....there is no feeling...a sense of numbness has settled around me....I have no sense of anything around me except a buzz in my head...had they made me wait any longer, I would have fainted.......and then suddenly I hear "Sravan" then "Krishna" and Sanghamitra ma'am , my placement co-ordinator smiles at me and rushes me to join those guys....Gosh!I had not heard my own name being called...as my father says "You are a prized DOPE!" and thats what I say to myself as soon as I realised I HAD MADE IT! Thats me ! I call myself a DOPE when I realise I have made it to Citibank.......need I say more!Wait, the best is yet to come.....
I call dad and tell him I made it ..and he says "Ok..." ...pause...and says "bye"...."HUH! WHAT WAS THAT????" Anyways....memories fade as I focus on the ppt of the next company.....then i call back home to tell them the details...and my dad says "ok! I got it..but then why did you call again to tell me the same thing..." and I say meekly "just to give you the details...." and he says..."what details? the process is not over yet is it?" AH! so thats it....." DAD!I got through" and silence............................................'WHAT???? and he calls my mom who by the way does not need a reason to cry.....but today I give it to her.....she cries her heart out and I wish I was there to give her a big hug and thank her for what she made out of me! I save it for later..........
So thats that...I elaborate it so 'coz its a feeling deeply embedded in my heart......I shall not forget the day or 7:16 pm.....It will be a moment to reckon again and again when I will feel low because of failures....all the tears I shed for the fear of not succeeding....I thank GOD for this brilliant moment in my life.....Oh before I forget.....
abhijit made it to Henkel....(and I am sooooo jealous!)
Sheetal made it to ICICI Bank along with Sid .....
Mayuri made it to Genpact and she fainted when she heard that...I empathise with her!
Shruti got thru' CTS and Ravi Bihari made it to Wipro (naughty boy!)
Baba also made it to Henkel!
And DADA and I are colleagues as you guys must have got by now...GOD SAVE CITIBANK!
Actually wanted to write many more things but kinda got hung up on this....so until next time...

ta ta

term break.....YAWN!

2005-12-13T00:27:00.000-08:00

Alloha.....!!
am back....:)..the only reason why i could not blog for all this while was that the net connection at my residence in virugambakkam, was VERRRRRRYYYY slow!! so i had just about enough time to check my mail and thats that!

Well....first things first....BELATED birthday wishes to 'Thalai' ....YES! it was Rajni Kanth's birthday yesterday (December 12th)....and believe it or not...I sent out an SMS to one of these shoddy tam channels that was claiming that all these SMSs would be viewed by the MAN himself! talk about the heights of being gullible!:)....but the all that mattered was I managed to send out a message to HIM! whether he read it or not is besides the point.......also watched four of his movies....wow! what a day!:D "Naan oru daravai sonna (swish!swish!) nooru daravai sonna madiri!(swish!) btw...the swish is that of his finger.....(Dada..get a load of this!)

Abhijit is at Mumbai...having a ball at his sister's wedding...aaarrrggghhh! and I am at home doing nothing (except yesterday)......He hardly calls and whenever we get to talk it's more like
"hi"
"hi, just finished shopping for my sis" or "just finished shopping for my mom" or " just finished shopping for my dad"
"ok!"
"ok gotta go now...have to shop some more...bye"

OK! shopping is MY turf (and I am very protective about it)....and he is not helping by telling me that he shops everyday..... so now I am in the mood and I walk up to my mom and tell her
" Ma! I wanna shop for stuff"
"what stuff ?" BIG mistake (evil laughter!)
and I have a list ready in no time (sometimes I wonder how I do that!)......So my mom listens and listens and listens till I stop 'coz I am outta breath.....

Tomorrow I am going SHOPPING! (hurray!) Sheetal and Sid I am sure are pointing their fingers and fists at me....(they think I shop too much! but how much shopping is too much???)...sorry guys...it's an addiction!:)

So as of now...those are the going-ons in my life.....will post again....till then...cheerio!

We studied (and we have the proof!)

2005-12-01T02:47:00.000-08:00

Hurrayyyy....(I jump around the place) ...my exams are OVER.....(technically) though the quarter is yet to come to an end....but its nice to think that my exams are over!!!! wait...before that let me give you a glimpse of my life one day before the Brand Management exam.....

Date: 29th November 2005

Time: 8:30 pm

Status: Studied for brand management - null, nothing, zip, zero!!!!!Can't feel my arms after two days of filling up 20 odd sheets with strategic management and TQM....ran out the ink completely from two ball point pens!Suffering from a severe cold......
Motivation to study BM - ZZZZzzzzzz!

Arise, awake and move forward....and suddenly, I am this soldier who wants to FIGHT ! fight it out with HLL, P&G and the likes that define brand management.
and so I tell Sheetal (my buddy who you all are well acquainted with by now)...."We are going to study till one, I don't care"...

she gives me a hesitant "hmmmm...".....

We start with Brand Evaluation from a book written by Kapferer...Man! if that guy can make Brand Management this boring...I can imagine if he had written a book on Microeconomics or something! (Could develop alternative uses and users for the book - Cure for Insomaniacs, the perfect book to balance on your head if you want to learn to walk straight...etc.)

And by eleven thirty, we are both drowsy and yawning .....I still am not ready to give up so I tell sheetal " Let's go down to Gurunath for a cup of coffee"......Awaiting response-NONE! and I realise..she has decided to call it a day....I follow suit.....

Luckily, the marketing paper the next day is as general as it can get....and I manage to again fill up 20 odd sheets....
They say...."when one door closes, another opens"....but what if the other one is jammed??
I wonder......

A birthday, exams and ME!

2005-11-27T12:22:00.000-08:00

Long time since I wrote...been kinda busy with presentations and all....What with all our ppts getting postponed...very frustrating..! but managed to finish it at last.....went OK...Wrote my financial services exam and i need to confess....I have absolutely NO CLUE as to how I have performed.....!Ab SAB KUCH Bhagwan KE HAATH MEIN hai! (The right time to get religious!)

The placement season is nearing and I can see that the placement team is working day and night! Wish you all the best guys...our careers depend on you!:)

Well...to come to the point...it was my best buddy Sheetal's birthday on 25th....We tried to give her a surprise and let me tell you she did a fairly good job of acting surprised to make us feel better!:) We got her a nice cake and it was really cold but we still managed to cut a cake at 12 midnight!! And wait..the best part is...SHE GOT BUMS!! ha ha!! that was fun....Pics included.....

My exams start tomorrow...and here I am doing the most important thing in the world..BLOGGING! aaaarrrrggghhhh...am out of my mind..:O...so much to learn and so little time...(ah! there I go all senti philo again...)....I am sure everyone is with a sweaty brow and pouring over their books...(or they could be absolutely jobless as I am!) ...Anyways...ALL THE VERY BEST too all ...Do well...and will post again before holidays....

Adios!

Multiple Personality disorder....or is that the only way to order in this world?

2005-11-20T00:54:00.000-08:00

Let's begin with defining what MPD is....the WWW defines it as " A dissociative disorder in which two or more distinct conscious personalities alternately prevail in the same person, without any personality being aware of the other". Makes it sound like a really BIIIIGGGG problem .....but on second thoughts .....is it?

I have a cousin who is constrained by various rules and regulations at her house by her dad....sometimes she wishes she had a pair of wings so she could fly away.....an alternate personality maybe.....if she knew about MPD, she could break rules and get away with it....blame it all on MPD....she could watch movies day in and day out and claim that the 'other' her was a movie buff...she could wear jeans and sleeveless tops and party all night and claim the 'other' her loves to party, so what could she do.....

At some level, I think even I would like to have multiple personalities.....another me who has the relaxed, don't- carish, not so anxious and the carefree I-dont-give-two-hoots-about-the-world attitude...maybe thats my ideal alternative personality.....It makes me wonder, was this whole concept of MPD chanced upon by some individual who wanted to break the shackles of a stereotype and then give it a name....a nice and medical sounding name...MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER! I say this because there is no proven case in medical history that claims that MPD exists.....

Well, this could be the panacea to all problems of the individual mind....there would be no wishes left unfulfilled.....no constrained feelings.....everyone could speak their mind and it would not to brushed off as gibberish.....or considered scandalous.....just some food for thought...chew on it....MPD or MPO - Multiple personality Order....Chew on it.....:)....

till the next blog....Ciao....

'I'.....

2005-11-17T00:50:00.000-08:00

Its amazing how it is so easy for us to spot whats wrong with someone else...while equally or even more difficult to understand and accept what might have gone wrong with us.....and when one fine day, truth dawns, its a HUGE and bitter pill to swallow.....

This may sound like one of those rants about self-revelation and self- realisation albeit, I believe it is one of the most stark truths in life.......and ironically we revel in the thought that nothing exists beyond us.....when one fine day, the ground beneath slips and it is understood that whatever existed, was totally beyond us......

The root cause of all problems is the individual called 'I'......someone once put it very beautifully when he said....."A for Apple..." and he drew an apple, "B for Banana..." and he drew a banana.....then came I...." I for 'I'...." ...he gave the pencil to one of his students and said...."draw 'I' ..."...the student drew a body...." but that's B for body...." he said....then the student drew a face....." but that's F for face ..." he said...." When you are not even in a position to define 'I', are you secure enough to credit this 'I' with all the happiness and all the pain that your body undergoes??" he asked......

I am on this philosophical rampage because I managed to see it today...that somewhere along life, we all tend to focus on the 'I' which is not even definable....we use this 'I' as a shield to protect our own insecurities.....the key to this is to throw open our own insecurities to ourselves....life would be much simpler then....at least we would be able to work on to overcome these insecurities ...even if not overcome, we could always make them inconsequential by moving beyond 'I' and thinking about the 'Big Picture'....

I strongly feel that it is possible to live an easier life by considering another's goodness and your own faults. It would help you focus on just your own faults and set them right....you simply would not have the time to focus on the other person's faults....

a thought, a journey waiting to begin....

Until next time.....

Placements, SRK and RK.....:)

2005-11-15T00:07:00.000-08:00

Another day , another blog.....it's just five weeks for the placements season to begin.....and I am already getting the jitters....Today, one of the many companies had come down for a ppt...all these ppts are very inspiring....and more inspiring is the stuff they give out after the ppt....:).... I got a t-shirt, one pair of green colored chappals (probably to camouflage my feet from the mosquitoes), an extraordinarily bright pencil and some other stuff...whether you apply or not, you get to collect t-shirts.......
For those of us who get all paranoid at 7:45 am because they dont have anything clean to wear for the 8 '0' clock class and some others who would inspire you to sit at one corner of the class while they sit at the other, priding themselves as water-saviors of Chennai....while there tee's giving us a sneak peak into what they ate from sunday till saturday,such events are blissful.....Hurray! now I have new clothes!:)
Ate dinner at Hot chips with a couple of friends, watched a Rajni Kanth movie...a little bit.....that man is GOD!:D....

Ok, RK is a case in focus......He differs by just one initial from the king khan.....but both share quiet a few similarities.... Both are chain Smokers..... Mr. Kanth is No.1 and SRK is at No. 2 , both are devoted to their wives and both have two children....but the south indian 'Thalai' is 50 yrs. old while SRK is nearing 40 i think...(need to check with sheetal, my buddy on that...she is an avid SRK fan...she actually has to be wished every year on November 2nd -SRK's birthday for those of you who do not know!) ....So the crux of the matter is that SRK hath nothing to worry for another 10 yrs. at least....Even when he is 50, he will be able to pull off stunts such as chasing a Scorpio on a cycle rickshaw, flying from one end of the room to another to save a man about to drink poisoned coffee (RK did that in 'Chandramukhi' and people still buy it!), dodging bullets- matrix style (if Keanu Reeves can do it , so can SRK and RK!)....and people would still flock into theatres to catch a glimpse of the MASTER !!

Just for the record...I am a BIG Rajni Kanth fan.....:)

until next time.....adios amigos....

hello there....

2005-11-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

My first blogging effort was an disaster....forgot my username , my password and then...no new post possible.....well....nothing is lost....I learn....(could help to learn from others' mistakes than my own....too dear!)

Well, the weekend has passed...and peacefully I must say...though we had lectures on saturday and sunday..but thats cool...I enjoyed them....especially the TQM ones.....

I must reiterate what I mentioned in my previous blog that noone got to read...:)
Ok...here I am....Inspired by anand ..read his blog...liked it...thought i should write too....Thanks anand!

I made a presentation on Canon on Saturday....(at 8 in the morning...which implies that I had to wake up at seven in this $%^@#&* freezing weather....it is too much to handle for us chennaiites you know)

Interesting stuff this industry analysis is! (Ok....with due apologies to all those who are barring there teeth and shaking their fists at me now)....I am learning..though at a slow pace...I am still learning....and after one and a half years here...I feel I have grown....grown in terms of the mindware I possess....For one who had no clue about options, inbound logistics or Integrated Marketing Communication, I can now talk at length (to the extent that someone asks me to shut up!)....Its ultimately about the pride of knowledge.....The feeling that "I know"....its a good feeling...I am sure everyone who has been here at some point felt that pride....Its not vanity and so what if it is?No matter how much I crib, I enjoy every little bit of what I learn...adding to my database... I learnt that CavinKare is into 17 different products..most of which I have no clue about (though it is a Chennai based company and I have been a Chennai-vasi for almost 10 years!)... I also learnt that Ryuzaburo Kaku was the president of Canon and he died in 2001 when he was 75 years old....How might that benefit me you may ask.....but it does....it gives me a feeling of knowing something ....something that I would like to share with others....though it might not excite them as much as it excites me.....thats all i have to say for today or tonight should i say...and i feel sad when I realise that in 6 months time I would be ending this journey and then I would be devoid of this pride.....at least I would not be in a position to learn so much....But then hey! Make hay while the sun shines.....:)